


This wasn't meant to happen.

by Aikona



Category: SDR2, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Doubt, Fluff, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, No determined plot point, hand holding, pure fluff, self hatred, spoiler-free, what am I doing with my time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aikona/pseuds/Aikona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...You must really hate yourself." Hinata spoke up after a long, torturous silence, as he appeared to be informing the ground of this spoken fact. Komaeda didn't respond, though it was clear he most likely had an entire colorful brochure of all the bad and horrible things he could list off, and not showing it off was the biggest disappointment in his eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This wasn't meant to happen.

"Ah...Hinata-kun! You're here," At the sound of such a voice, Hinata wanted to slam his head against a wall. If there was anything he didn't want to hear again, it was his name being said with such a breathy, disturbing huff. At the hesitation of his response, the voice that belonged to the suffering of his being continued on. "I figured as much, considering you tend to be in places that are quieter than the rest. Haha, you sure are wondrous, aren't you!" Hinata clenched his teeth. "I'm not in the mood, Komaeda."

"Well, of course you aren't!" Komaeda's gleeful pitch bit into Hinata's already bad mood. Komaeda made him sick. His chest tightened, and he got migraines. But, it wasn't just that. Sometimes, he was genuinely _disgusted_ with him, other times more disgusted with _himself_ for not outright hating him for it. "Someone like you...it only makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, I never saw it as a possibility for you to be _glad_ to see me, but...we do run into each other often, don't we? It must be my retched luck getting in the way!" The way Komaeda spoke...so restlessly loathsome, speaking cheerfully in a way that would make you think he's a mascot from a theme park. He's too happy about it. It took a few years off of Hinata's life instantly. "...You're going off again?" Hinata could feel his own exasperation in that one, as he felt his eyebrows knitting tight enough together to leave early worry-lines. 

"Ah, you're right. I guess I never learned when to shut up, huh? I can clearly understand your dissatisfaction, Hinata-kun! Honestly, I'd like to know how I can manage speaking so freely, also." Hinata violently held back the urge to just walk away and pretend this wasn't happening. It didn't help the fact that he had just barely stepped out of his cabin in the morning, only to be bombarded by this tightly wound embodiment of any, and all, nightmares he's ever had. It made him, albeit belatedly so, wonder why Komaeda was even bothering to act as if he just _happened_ to be here. Well, shit, perhaps Komaeda might onto something. Lately, Hinata had been laying outside all night with an "I'm open, kill me" sign clenched in his fist. He's impressed. Since that's the case, Komaeda really _is_ lucky to have found him outside of his cabin. Hinata pinched the bridge of his own nose, as he looked to Komaeda, who had been continuing to hatefully berate himself, as if it was the only thing he found ultimate solace in doing. 

"Stop," Hinata held a hand up, just inches away from Komaeda's face, as he tried to sound demanding. "I haven't been listening." As soon as he saw Komaeda begin to open his mouth with a big breath, Hinata put both his hands up. " _Don't_ \- repeat it." Komaeda exhaled, as Hinata heaved a weathered sigh. "Look," Hinata started, sounding like a 40 year old spouse dealing with divorce charges, "I don't _care_ , Komaeda, okay? Stop...talking about that." Hinata regret it as soon as the words spilled out. He saw a light that was already dim, die a little further in Komaeda's eyes. "Ah...you're right. I've been foolish," Komaeda's face contorted into a sheepish smile, as he looked to the side, no longer deeming himself worthy to maintain eye-contact. " _No,_ that's _not_ -" Hinata pressed the heel of one of his hands to his temple. "...That's not what I meant." He said finally, after a sigh. Hinata could pin point grievous doubt in Komaeda's eyes, though he didn't speak up about it. 

Of course he didn't. He never voiced real feelings. He was never honest. "I didn't..." Hinata felt guilt at the pit of his stomach, though he couldn't rationalize it completely. "...I didn't mean I didn't care. Moreover...I can't understand it." At the sight of Komaeda tipping his head in the corner of his eye, Hinata turned towards him. "You...speaking like that. So hateful...I don't get it." Frustration stabbed him like a needle in the depths of his subconsciousness, as he couldn't understand why he was even voicing his doubts. "Oh...I see," Hinata hated when Komaeda opened his mouth, "that's easy to fix, Hinata-kun, though it might involve me never speaking again." Hinata felt a pang in his chest. It _hurt_. He could feel the blood pulsing in his veins, strongly in his hands and head. " _Stop it,_ " Hinata started, wanting to find something to grab onto; his sight become blurred and distorted with his inner doubts and frustrations.

"Hinata-kun, you don't look so good. Are you sick? Shall I carry you on my back?" When Hinata shook his head, immediately, Komaeda began to open that wretched mouth again. "Ah, but you wouldn't-" Hinata clapped both of his hands on Komaeda's thin shoulders, and gripped tightly. " _Stop_." He repeated, firmly, his frustration being one of such caliber to cause burning in the back of his eyes. "If you speak like that, _one_ more time, I'm going to leave. And I will _never_ look back." He could feel Komaeda's shoulders tremble, but it was more than likely due to the temptation of holding his scalding thoughts back. Hinata heaved another sigh, as he sank his hands from Komaeda's shoulders, down to his forearms, then to his wrists, before letting them drop completely. "Your voice...it affects me. I don't want to hear it." Hinata faltered. "...Not in that way." The atmosphere around them was clouded; disfigured by skepticism and the unknown. 

"...You must really hate yourself." Hinata spoke up after a long, torturous silence, as he appeared to be informing the ground of this spoken fact. Komaeda didn't respond, though it was clear he most likely had an entire colorful brochure of all the bad and horrible things he could list off, and not showing it off was the biggest disappointment in his eyes. Suddenly, though, out of nowhere, with no prior warning, Hinata had reached one of his hands towards one of Komaeda's. Komaeda almost reflexively wanted to move away- since, clearly, this was a mistake- and whatever Hinata was truly reaching for was mistaken, but, he didn't. He stood absolutely still. 

Hinata had taken Komaeda's in his own, his action unsure, with frustration clear on his features. "..." Komaeda seemed to blink. "Hinata-kun, have you just granted me an unholy pleasure?" It was such a shameless way of putting it, and it caused Hinata to immediately drop his hand. "- _What?_ No!" Hinata adjusted his tie, which needed no such thing, as he cleared his throat. _What the fuck was that?_ Echoed in his mind, each time louder than the last. "Ah...so it was a mistake." Komaeda spoke freely, in a tone that sounded as though he had just concluded something with a great amount of evidence. "...Don't make conclusions with no evidence." Hinata spoke up, flatly, though he could tell there was some heat in his cheeks. Despite it being involuntary, it was also stupid. "..." Hinata tried to come up with a means to console his own meager actions. "...We're late for the morning meeting." He tore an excuse from his ass. Despite it being abrupt, and stiff, it was also true. They had actually managed to waste enough time to be the absolute only ones near the cabins. It was a good instance to be murdered, actually.

Komaeda seemed to look around, before beaming back at Hinata, astonished. "You're right!" "...Don't sound so pleased!" Hinata snapped, before beginning to shoulder past him. "Hinata-kun, does this mean you want to hold hands?" "Leave me alone, dammit!" Komaeda let out a sheepish laugh, as he followed behind Hinata as if some kind of lost puppy. Though his suggestion was blatant, it was also obvious that Komaeda held no expectations. It was something that tore Hinata apart from the inside out. His eyebrows, which were furrowed harshly together, threatened to ease a bit, as he glanced behind him. 

Komaeda returned his gaze, though there was an empty light in his eyes. It dared Hinata to do something stupid, and he hated himself for daring to do so. Something so useless, and clearly a waste of time...he reached out and grabbed Komaeda's hand. 

Hearing a gasp from behind, Hinata spoke up quickly. "...Just for now. Don't speak about it. I'll let go if you say just one thing stupid." With that, there was silence. As they walked, Hinata's heart hammering in his chest for reasons beyond him, he couldn't help but feel a small squeeze from the hand that held his back. With that, his face was on fire, and the paranoia of being spotted tore and snapped at him at the very back of his mind. It was such a feeble, ever so gentle, little squeeze. It was unsure, as if it didn't know if it had the leisure to do so. It was as if all of Komaeda's self hatred, his doubts, were portrayed through that meager squeeze. Hinata, whom was sure his rapid pulse could be felt through the veins in his palm, couldn't help but gently squeeze back.


End file.
